- If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
- If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
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